Feng Shui the Objects in your Bedroom for a Thriving Relationship

Sweet and cuddly or sweeeet and cuuudly?

When you stand in the doorway to your bedroom what do you see? What’s the first object that catches your attention?  Does your bedroom feel welcoming and cozy? If you’re a woman, does it feel too feminine to welcome a male partner, or vice versa? If you’re in a relationship, does your bedroom feel like you both have an equal partnership within the space? The objects in your bedroom have their own Feng Shui Element and/or historic energy. They can enhance your experience or keep you from the intentions your space should benefit.

What are the two main activities that should be optimized within your master bedroom? It would seem that these are obvious. But so many times we have objects such as: a desk, a television, a tall pile of books, or even boxes or clutter under the bed. Any objects that interfere with revitalizing sleep or life-affirming intimacy should be removed from your bedroom.

Here are some examples of objects that should be removed from your bedroom and what you should use instead:

• King sized Bed – most of these are supported by a split box spring. When partners sleep on them, they usually end up on opposite sides of the bed due to the ridge that is formed in the middle. Not very good for a cozy relationship! Replace it with a Queen sized bed for more intimacy, and a stable relationship. The Queen bed has a square shape, a symbol for the Earth Element, which brings stability and a feeling of safety.
•  Stuffed Animals or Pictures of Children – an adult bedroom should be just that, Adult! From the colors used to the textures and fabrics, the entire experience of the bedroom should be in line with the adult intentions for the space. You wouldn’t have a Buzz Lightyear bedspread, right? Keep the kids objects in their room and make yours a sensual experience for you and your partner. Place images of loving couples in your bedroom, and if you have some happy pictures with your mate use them too.
•  Big Black Plasma TV – when it is turned off, this big black hole on the wall can add lots of Water Element and douse the Fire of passion. When it’s turned on it becomes a distraction to intimacy. Both of these are definite Relationship busters! There are many ways to deal with this dilemma. The first would be to remove it entirely from the bedroom, and replace it with a beautiful image on the wall; one that keeps you dreaming of your future together. If removal is not an option, then place it inside an armoire, so that you can shut it away when not in use. Or as a last resort, drape a throw over it at night before going to sleep, or have a screen saver with a beautiful scene on display.
• Dried flowers or dusty silk plants – a master bedroom should be a place that symbolizes two persons thriving together (even if only one person occupies the space and just desires a loving relationship).  Dead and dusty plants are the absolute opposite of that intention. Replace them with romantic candles, live plants like an orchid, or lovingly dust off the existing silk plants. A happy relationship is formed by two persons growing together, so make sure the objects in your bedroom reflect who you really intend to be.

These are just a few of the actions you can take to create a bedroom that is really in tune with good Feng Shui for a Thriving Relationship. Take a look around your bedroom and make sure it’s in line with your true desires and intentions. That’s the first and most important step to fulfilling your dreams, which is the sole purpose of great Feng Shui.

5 Feng Shui Bedroom Locations and What they mean for your Love Life

Best Feng Shui Location for Lasting Love

Have you ever wondered how the different Feng Shui Quadrants can affect your bedroom? Did you know that where your bedroom is located within your house can actually determine what your love life is like? And, by the same token, where your bed is located within your bedroom can determine whether you and your partner are just “good friends”, or “a great couple”, or even “mostly physical”. Keep reading and you just might find out that your house choice may be affecting your relationship style!

There are 9 Quadrants in Feng Shui, and depending upon the school you may have read about, the names can change slightly from one to the next. So, for both non-Feng Shui experts as well as the Feng Shui savvy, I will list the bedroom locations with standard left/right/back/front/center descriptions too. See if you can find your bedroom location and what it is saying about you.

1.       Compassion Quadrant:

When standing at the front door to your home and looking inward, your bedroom is at the Right Front corner of your home. Normally, according to my extensive research, partners whose bedroom is in this area of the house have a relationship in which one person does most of the work to keep the partnership alive. Sometimes one of the partners needs long-term care, or has lost a job, and the other has to step in to help out. As long as this is just a temporary phase things may be able to work themselves out in the long run, but if you’re single and your bedroom is in this location, check to see if you keep getting into relationships with a partner that you need to fix, help out, or just isn’t as interested as you in being close.

2.       Creativity Quadrant:

When standing at the front door to your home and looking inward, your bedroom is at the Right Center wall of your home. What I have encountered with this location can be good and not so good! Your relationship may have lots of “creative physical” activity, wink, wink, but you may also have a marriage that is child-centric.  This is the area for descendants, so be extra careful to keep your romance blossoming too. There are many Feng Shui recommendations to keep your love life happy, and this would be a great time to check some out!

3.       Community Quadrant:

When standing at the front door to your house and looking inward, your bedroom is on the Left Center wall of your home. This area of your home is where Feng Shui honors your Ancestors and your Friends. You guessed it! If your bedroom is in this part of your house, your marriage may be more of a partnership and you have become good friends, more than romantic lovers. Of course each person has the choice in what style of relationship to pursue, so if this is what you desire then this is the location that is right for you.

4.       Self-Empowerment Quadrant:

When you stand at the front door to your house and look inward, your bedroom is located in the Left Back corner of your home. This is also known as the Wealth area of the home, and relationships with a bedroom located here may have issues with finances. Of course, everything is relative, as I know a couple who has been together for a very long time and whose bedroom is in this area of their home. The important key is that they have also been business partners for most of their marriage too, and their bed is located in the Creativity area of their bedroom. That’s right, there’s another layer on information that’s important in determining what’s the link between your bedroom, your bed and your love life.

5.       Relationship Quadrant:

When you stand at the front door to your house and look inward, your bedroom is in the Right Back corner of your home. This is the optimum location for a bedroom where a loving and committed relationship is desired. Your bed should be placed in the center of the wall across from the wall where the bedroom door is located, or in the Future area.

There are other quadrants, as well as many house designs, that need to be taken into consideration when finding out what your bedroom location is and what it’s saying about your specific situation. If you live in a home that has an “L” shape floor plan, you will have a missing quadrant and that will affect your outcome too. The most important aspect of this information is to begin living with knowledge and purpose, which means finding out where you are and what you really desire in a relationship and then getting the right Feng Shui recommendations for you! Good Luck! And Good Feng Shui!

3 Feng Shui Bed Location Principles and Why NOT to Follow Them

Bed in front of a window...no no or not?

Every Feng Shui book I’ve ever read, and even every Feng Shui blog on the internet for that matter, has the same time-worn advice on what the optimum placement is for your bed.  Through research and experience with my own clients, I’ve found that what we’ve been told is optimum is not always the best for our personal intentions. Here are the top 3 principles of bed placement and why they aren’t always right for everyone:

1-      The bed should not be in front of a window

My client Gina wanted to have a stronger relationship with her partner. She had been living with him for 5 years and still did not have the wedding band her heart desired. When we moved her bed to the location that was in optimum alignment with what she intended, from the Ancestors to the Future Quadrant of her bedroom, it happened to be in front of a window.  It was now in an alcove, beautifully framed by the window treatments, and truly honored her relationship desires. Both partners felt the change and are now on their way to a deeper commitment. So, don’t let windows get in your way of your true intentions, just make sure to draw the curtains at night.

2-      The foot of the bed should not point towards a door

Donna and Dale are a couple that met due to Feng Shui. Because of the architectural features of their bedroom, their bed is on the Future wall and faces a set of French doors.  It also happens to be in front of a window! The bed was originally in the Ancestors Quadrant in Donna’s room, and two days after she moved it she met Dale. They are now happily married and make sure to draw the curtains at night and close the bedroom doors before going to sleep.

3-      The bed should be in the area diagonally opposite the door

This principle can be somewhat vague, and it can lead to a bed placement that isn’t in alignment with what you really desire to achieve. This was my case not so long ago, and it’s what sparked me to do more research and to publish a book about bedroom Feng Shui.

My bed was also in the Ancestors Quadrant, which was diagonally opposite my bedroom door, just as all the books suggest. Since my desire was to find a partner and have a committed relationship, this quadrant wasn’t being very helpful. The energetic alignment it was giving me was to have many friendships or for partnerships to trend towards the past. And that’s exactly what was happening! Every potential partner I dated would become a friend, Feng Shui client or fizzle into the past. 3 days after I moved my bed to the Future wall (which was also diagonally opposite my bedroom door), I met a wonderful man that lead me to the relationship I was intending.

I know this may sound somewhat confusing, but the real nugget of truth to the Feng Shui placement of your bed is, that you should first know what your intentions are and then you can decide what quadrant will align you to them.  Do you want a relationship in your future? Do you just want to get to know yourself better before you proceed down the relationship path? Are you happy to just have lots of friends and not a solid commitment? Do you just want to have physical connections to partners? Answer these questions and you’ll have the right answer to where your bed should be. And remember, you can always just move your bed!

The 3 Love-busting Mistakes to Avoid When Creating Boudoir Feng Shui for a Lasting Relationship

Creating the right Feng Shui mood for a Lasting Relationship

 When I’m approached by a client longing to find that perfect life partner, these three Feng Shui mistakes are the usual culprits holding them back from the PEA – Physical and Energetic Alignment – with their desires. You too can take a peek into your bedroom and transform it into the “Boudoir” that invites a loving relationship to flourish.  If you have:

1 – Pictures of your children            So many of us, especially single parents, surround ourselves with images and objects that are reminders of our love for our children. Another version of this mistake is placing within our bedroom objects from a past relationship or heirlooms handed down from our ancestors. The most important thing to keep in mind is that a “boudoir” is the place where we honor our adult connection to a present or future partner. An object or image of anyone other than your partner is as much an intrusion on your energetic privacy as the actual presence of those persons in your bedroom. Not a good visual during an intimate moment, right?!

 2 – Too “Girlie” or “Masculine” décor             Another major mistake I often notice, when entering into a client’s bedroom, is the use of predominantly feminine or masculine décor. A profusion of “girlie” pink and flowers, or the rigid blue stripes of a bachelor pad do not a “boudoir” make! Think in terms of sensual colors, fabrics and textures that elicit the romance in both partners. Most especially, all white bedrooms are a big no-no. Who wants to worry about getting things dirty while in the midst of a passionate encounter?

 3 – One Lonely  Nightstand           This is the surest sign that we are not in alignment with the desire to share our life with a partner. Even when we’re already in a live-in relationship. My clients – Christina and Jeff – were longing to be in a balanced relationship, but the one nightstand in the corner with all of the bedroom gadgets under just one person’s control was energetically stating the opposite. The first step we took in aligning the Feng Shui with their true desires was to purchase a matching set of nightstands. Although each couple or the desire for one is different, in this case the two identical nightstands mirrored their view of the kind of relationship they intended. Now they share control over the bedroom gadgets and have achieved a more balanced union. Sometimes what we think we want on the intellectual level is not in alignment with our emotional level. Once one partner made the leap and connected the two – letting go, and trusting their partner – the PEA in the bedroom helped them to connect them to their true desires.

Learn more about PEA from the book Change Your Sheets Change Your Love Life available at amazon.com

What are your nightstands saying about you?

Romantic bedroom Feng Shui

Choosing the Right Nightstands for a Happy Relationship

Do you know what the nightstands in your bedroom mean in terms of Relationship Feng Shui? In the many Feng Shui books that I’ve read, the standard recommendation is to pick out matching nightstands in order to create balance in the bedroom. In my experience with clients and while writing my bedroom Feng Shui book, I conducted hundreds of surveys and found that this simple approach was not always the best.

Feng Shui meaning

Nightstands on either side of the bed, whether you’re in a committed relationship or just desire a partner, indicate that you’re willing to share control of your space. One partner gets the alarm clock while the other may have the lamp or the cordless phone. The nightstands also anchor the bed in place, like sentinels to safety and grounded emotions. We set intention in motion when we add these important pieces of furniture to our bedroom.

Which are you?

In order to add the correct nightstands for a happy relationship, the most important thing to understand is what is your relationship like, or how would you desire it to be. Are you and your mate equal partners in the relationship? Do you feel that both of you are on the same level in terms of what you bring to your partnership? Or, if you’re currently single, is this the sort of relationship you desire?

My friend and client Carolyn is a widowed mother of two. She let me know that she had been the father and mother to her daughters for a very long time. So, she desired a relationship where she could decidedly bring the feminine aspect and allow her partner to be the strong and supportive male. 

Results

Your choice in nightstands will energetically underscore your individual relationship desires and style. Both nightstands may not be identical, but they should have a similar volume and weight in order to create the balance and happy relationship you desire. And remember, no clutter or stacks of books on your nightstands. The bedroom is the place for re-energizing sleep or passionate intimacy after all!

To find out more about the Physical and Energetic Alignment – or PEA as I call it – of the objects, images and colors in your bedroom, and how it will lead you to a happy relationship, check out Change Your Sheets, Change Your Love Life at http://www.amazon.com.